Flash fiction: Platonic

Macy started it one late Saturday night when they were all slightly inebriated. Slipping away with Fisher’s iPhone, she had him signed up for Tinder in a flash. The others were quickly brought in on the joke and later, when Fisher checked his messages to find “18 shared interests, only 1 mile away!” the look on his face was totally worth it.

“It was just a little fun between friends”, Macy said, as Fisher turned a deeper shade of purple, “perhaps you’ll meet someone nice after all.”

The next Saturday, when Fisher’s phone sat lonely after he’d wandered off for a refill, his friends agreed he was virtually begging for it. And why stop at one? There were dozens of free apps on the market. Within a few minutes they were downloading OkCupid, Tastebud, Plenty of Fish and Grouper.

When Fisher returned, boozy grin painted on, he wondered what all of the excitement was about. Hanging off the armchair from all angles, his friends were laughing uproariously as they poked, stabbed and swiped at the screen in Macy’s hands.

“Oh my god!” she squealed above the ruckus, “Can you believe someone would say that!?”

“Oh no! This one! This one!”

To Fisher’s dismay he soon realised that it was his phone again, and that his friends had already “swiped right” on several potential matches. When he tried to grab it from them, the game was on, one tossing the phone to another, always just out of reach. Macy caught on that they had crossed the line just about three seconds before Fisher stormed out, slamming the front door on their raised eyebrows and guilty consciences.

When Fisher didn’t turn up the next Saturday, they all felt bad. Macy said she’d ring him and smooth things over, and she was really the best one to do it. By just after 1, they were all in the zone and with Rage blinking at them from the other side of the room, Macy had everyone in stitches, as, though cackling and squeals, she read out the “Strictly Platonic” posts on Craigslist.

The next week Fisher was missing again. A few of them had seen him during the week and assured the others that there had been no hard feelings. But Macy was urged to take charge again. She tried a few times but all her calls went straight through to message bank.

Fisher heard his phone vibrate again, and glanced at it only briefly before declining the call. He had just seen Louisa step out of her car and from what she was wearing he got the impression that she was just as keen as he for their second date. He’d call Macy next week. Maybe. Afterall, he wouldn’t want to give her the satisfaction.